Finding Peace This Holiday Season When You’re Always Doing Too Much
Written by Nikita Swarna, LMFT-Associate
If you’re someone who’s always doing more planning, more helping, more trying to keep everything together, the holidays can feel especially heavy. While everyone else talks about joy and relaxation, you might feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or quietly counting the days until it’s over.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just carrying a lot. And it is possible to find a little more peace this season, even if life feels busy.
You Don’t Have to Do Everything
High-achievers often feel like it’s their job to make things work for their family, friends, school, or work. But the truth is, you don’t have to say yes to everything.
Try asking yourself:
Do I actually want to do this, or do I feel obligated?
What would happen if I did a little less?
Doing less doesn’t mean you care less. It means you’re choosing where your energy goes.
Peace Comes From Letting Go of “Perfect”
When you’re always doing too much, perfection can sneak in quietly. You might feel pressure to give the perfect gift, show up the right way, or make everyone happy.
Instead, try shifting the goal:
From “perfect” to good enough
From “impressing” to being present
Most people won’t remember the details, but they will remember how you made them feel.
Give Yourself Small Breaks (They Count)
You don’t need hours of free time to feel better. Small pauses matter more than you think.
A few ideas:
Step outside for a few deep breaths
Put your phone down and stretch for a minute
Listen to one song you love and do nothing else
These moments won’t fix everything, but they can help your nervous system settle and give you a sense of grounding.
Set Gentle Boundaries, Even If It Feels Uncomfortable
If you’re used to pleasing others, boundaries can feel awkward or selfish. They’re not. They’re how you take care of yourself.
Boundaries might look like:
Leaving a gathering earlier than planned
Not responding to messages right away
Saying, “I can’t take that on right now”
You’re allowed to protect your time and energy, especially during a busy season.
Notice What You’ve Already Done
When you’re always doing more, it’s easy to overlook everything you’ve already handled.
Take a moment to reflect:
What’s one thing I’m proud of this season?
Where did I show up, even when it was hard?
You don’t need to earn rest. You don’t need to prove your worth. You’ve already done enough.
Finding Peace Looks Different for Everyone
Peace doesn’t mean a stress-free holiday. It might simply mean being a little kinder to yourself, letting go of one expectation, or allowing things to be imperfect.
As the year comes to a close, give yourself permission to slow down even it’s just for a little pause. You deserve rest, care, and compassion and not just during the holidays, but always.
